cochlear implant

Good morning...I recently deleted some of my ancient documents on my work computer. I found this story that I wrote for last year's Deaf Awareness Day speech. I decided to post it on my blog.

Foremost of all, I want to tell you that my story here is from my perspective, not another's perspective.
I entered the world on April 12, 1984, as someone’s first child, as someone’s first grandchild, and as someone’s first niece. My entire family was anticipating my arrival, and they were joyous when I was a normal baby in their sight.
Fifteen months later, my parents noticed something unusual. To everyone, I seemed a happy, normal toddler that responded to everything with my big, blue eyes. However, I was not able to speak yet at that point. On that day, I was outside in my babysitter's backyard where I happily played with other toddlers. I was right behind my babysitter's quiet German Shepherd. All of a sudden, the dog barked loudly causing everyone to jump! They saw that I did not respond to that noise or jump with fear. My parents immediately took me to Children's Hospital for an audiologist to perform a hearing screening on my ears.
The results of testing shocked my parents. Imagine hearing parents having no clue what to do with their child who was born profoundly deaf. They were overwhelmed with too many choices of how to communicate with their deaf child. After many consultations, they agreed to use Total Communication which includes signing and talking at the same time. My parents wanted me to be able to function in both hearing and deaf worlds by using both languages – ASL and English. At home, my parents always communicated through sign language; however, they knew that my speech was not developing as they hoped.
Fast forward to fall of 1994, my ENT doctor advised my parents to try the cochlear implant again since my hearing aids had not benefited me at all. They believed that technology would give better sound/audition than hearing aids. At 11 years old, my parents discussed with me first and asked me for my permission to have a cochlear implant. At that time, I was mainstreamed in a hearing school and had a desire to socialize with hearing peers while I was introduced to the deaf world. I agreed to go for it because I wanted to be able to communicate better with hearing peers. In 1995, I went through a successful surgery of implanting a 22-Channel Cochlear device.
After a few weeks of recovery, I first put on an external device to "re-magnet" with an internal cochlear device. All of a sudden, I heard strange sounds that I have never been exposed to. A few minutes later, I needed to go to a bathroom down the hallway. Then I went inside, still lightheaded from hearing new sounds. Several seconds later, I panicked because I thought I was going to die in an earthquake. My mom was there with me and informed me that the terrifying sound was from the toilet flushing. I thought, "Wow. I didn’t realize that there are countless new sounds that I’ve not used." Again, I heard the running water when I turned the faucets on. One of my new sounds. Eventually, new sounds inhabited my mind – hairspray "shh-shh" over my hair, birds chirping in the backyard, frogs criggering, cars and trucks honking and braking in traffic, my baby sister’s sing-song voice, and the gentle breeze across the sky.
According to my family, my speech production has been amazing since I started wearing a cochlear implant. My speech was much clearer with syllables and phonemes. Before I wore it, I always said, "muh-muh-muh-muh" to get my mom’s attention. When I was able to develop my speech with the help of my cochlear implant, I finally pronounced "mom" correctly. Also, my receptive skills were better. Being able to recognize sounds helped improve my lipreading skills. The highlight of wearing a cochlear implant is my ability to communicate more effectively with the hearing world. It enhanced my self-confidence as I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone and communicate with hearing people.
When I became older, I noticed that the deaf community was opposed to the cochlear implant because it was debated to be one of factors that contributed to a dying deaf community. The more deaf people wear cochlear implants, the less they use sign language because they just need speaking/listening ability only for the dominant hearing world. Honestly, I was embarrassed to admit to other Deaf people that I had a cochlear implant. However, I started meeting more deaf young people about my age wearing cochlear implants, too. They showed me how not to be afraid of others’ criticisms and stand up for myself.
Most important of all, cochlear implant does NOT fix my "broken" ears because my deafness will always be with me until the day I die. PERIOD. This cochlear implant is just an assistive device that can be turned "on" when I can hear pretty much sound and communicate with others. One day, my doctor suggested to my parents that we should stop signing at home, so I could focus on my speech only. My parents and I strongly disagreed because I was and am still deaf. Even though I still wear a cochlear implant, I still use sign language because it is my primary language. To this day, I am proud to know that I am able to function well in both worlds – deaf and hearing.
As a teacher for the Deaf, I see that more younger children are receiving cochlear implants. I learn that there are pros and cons of implanting cochlear devices. Not every deaf person should receive a cochlear implant. I strongly believe it all needs to be based on his/her motivation to function in a hearing world, and then it’s fine. If a deaf person does not want a cochlear implant, then we respect his/her choice. Also, if a deaf child of hearing parents receives a cochlear implant, then we need to respect his/her choice, too. I believe that cochlear implants does not make me "hearing," yet it allows me to form a bridge between my hearing and deaf worlds.

Today is...

Today is…
- the last day to be with my preschool students before summer starts.
- the last day to teach Beginner’s ASL evening class!
- my paycheck day!
- a “painting-free” day…all of my paintings were SOLD! Yay!!!
- a day of free food – my work provided both lunch and supper!
- when I can go to bed early!
- the day before I get to see my lovely family!
- like being on a Christmas day because of "good-bye" gifts from my students...winks! (I got a $15 gift card to Starbucks and a jar of homemade blackberry jelly!)

....so I had a wonderful day!

paintings to raise funds!

let me know if you're interested in buying them!
several people have been bidding for this painting.
everyone's favorite painting
SOLD!!!!
I used my preschool kids' handprints.

happy mother's day

I'm a horrible daughter. Today, I didn't celebrate Mother's Day with my mom because I had prior commitments/reasons why I'd not go to my hometown - loads of paperwork at my work, completing 12 paintings for a silent auction at my church (to raise funds for a mission trip this summer), high gas prices, etc. However, I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day and my mom's birthday with my mom next weekend. : ) I'm looking forward to it!

My love for my mom continues to grow. I am greatly blessed to have this particular woman as my mom. No one could replace her! As a rock of our household, my mom makes a lot of sacrifices and supports my dad and his ministry by working and providing everything to us. She always makes sure that my sister and I have what we need - and sometimes, she spoils us! She is very hard-working and persistent. She is our encourager, our prayer warrior, our comedian who makes us laugh, our cook, our maid, our laundry lady, our shopper (I guess that's her favorite part of being a mom), our chauffeur, my interpreter, our doctor's visit escort, etc. Also, she makes countless good memories with us.

My best memories with my mom:

1. our weekly lunch dates at a nearby deli shoppe in downtown near our work when I was in college...we could talk about anything! She's my confidant and someone I trust completely.

2. we went to Walmart one night...I decided to buy a plastic balcony bench along with a little table for my balcony; however, we both realized that we couldn't fit all of them in my tiny car. So we just put them on the top of my car...while I drove all the way to my apt at 20 mph, my mom held onto the bench and table tightly to make sure they wouldn't fall off! She was so funny because everyone on highway slowed down and saw her trying to getting out of passenger window and holding them on the top!

3. our trip to Disney World in 1997 - just me and my mom with my class. one night, I made her so mad, so she yelled "butthole" at me while I slept peacefully and deaf...the next morning, my hearing roommates told me what my mom called me! We still joke about it!

4. immediately after she gave birth to my sister (when I was 7 yrs. old), I went to visit her in a hospital room. When I looked at her swollen belly, I told her that she should have another baby inside her stomach. She told me to go away! ha!

5. some mornings, i enjoy sitting on the toilet and watching her apply make-ups on her face. she must have her make up done everyday even though she has plans to stay inside all the day.

I love my mom!