been a while!

whoa....I'm back alive!  I miss bloggin! :)

so long, no see!

I know it has been a while...

I recently told my parents that 2009 has been the most "rollercoaster-y" chaotic year. 

My loved one wrote.....

"Perfecting Grace"

I may not know where you want me to go,

It may lead to regions unknown.

It may be a path that strikes fear or despair, 

But make me willing to go when I'm told.

Lord, give me the strength to keep walking

Until I'm to the end of this life's race.

I'm not on my own, I realize, 

I've been bought with the price.

And I'll find rest in your perfecting grace.

I may not known what you want me to know

Until I've gone through the fire. 

But I'm willing to walk where I've not been before

Just as long as I know It's your desire.

Lord, give me the strength to keep walking

Until I'm to the end of this life's race.

I'm not on my own, I realize.

I've been bought with the price.

And I'll find rest in your perfecting grace.

I wish you happy holidays!!  :)  

The Dukes of Hazzard

ACCORDING TO THE FACEBOOK,
Suzanne completed the quiz "What movie is your life?" with the result The Dukes of Hazzard.
You are a wild one. You know how to have a good time even if you only have a penny in your pocket. Family comes first in your life and Second is the weekends. You'd rather be outside than inside and you'd say champagne is not your thing.......

Oh, yes...it definitely describes who I am!

sayings of the weekend

Quita:  You want a serious joke, funny joke, or something?

Jeremy:  How can a joke be serious?

"He [Jesus] must become greater, and I must become less."

Me:  When will you be 15?

Boy:  I don't know.

Me:  You know your birthday?

Boy: April 23rd

random thoughts

My thoughts within the last few days...

1. wow...I think it's such a miracle to see how God heals Dad. Several days after Dad's mild heart attack, Dad asked me if I could drive him to a hardware store. I immediately agreed because I was tired of being stuck in a house all the day with Dad alone...so we did enjoy our first outing after his hospitalization. I begged Dad to let me do all lifting because most of tools weighted over 10 pounds! I thank God for Dad!

2. It's about time to give my car a much needed bath! The Silver Weasel is covered with bird poops, pollen, coffee stains (from my clumsiness), smashed bugs, sand, etc. Ugh!

3. I think I am falling in love with Shoe Station, the largest shoe store in the South. I went there last night with two friends. We spent almost 2 hours exploring the entire store, except the men's department. I bought two pairs of super-cute flip flops.

4. I prefer buying clothes at second-handed stores, such as Ross and my friend's consignment store - less money, more cute clothes! Or I steal some of my mom's clothes. :)

5. I better go now because my friends and I are planning to visit Gulf Shores/Orange Beach for the night - sunset, seafood, shopping, the Wharf, people watching (numerous Spring Breakers are passing my house on their way to beaches), etc.

Have a lovely weekend! :)

a scary time for us!

Last Monday, Dad started feeling nauseated and tightness across his chest and went to the doctor.  They thought it was something related to sinus infection.  But he continued not to feel well, but he went to work Tuesday.  Again, he decided to go and see his doctor Wednesday afternoon.  After checking his heart rate and blood pressure, he immediately told him to go to hospital.  Dad said, "Sure...let me call my wife, so she can take me."  The doctor said, "No, I already called for an ambulance."  Dad asked, "Is it serious?"  The doctor said, "Yes, it's serious."  Later, it turned out to be a mild heart attack.  

Soon, I received a text message from Mom.  She said, "Your Dad.  In a Hospital.  Chest Pain.  High BP.  The doctors wants to do some tests on your Dad.  We'll be fine."  I would impulsively jump in my car and drive all the way to Birmingham, about 4 hours away.  My both sister and mom then told me there was no rush.  For me, it was hard living far away and not knowing what was going on!  My best friend Beth (my parents call her an "adopted" daughter) bought me a relief by checking on them in ER and emailed me a picture of them in their calm mode since she lived closer to them.  I already made a plan to visit them that weekend when I get off work Friday afternoon.  

Thursday morning, Dad had a heart catheterization.  That's when the doctors found blockage in his heart and said that stent placement wouldn't work.  Thursday noon when I was fixing my students' lunch, my sister texted me, "You might want to come up here because they are talking about doing open heart surgery."  My boss and co-workers encouraged me to leave and go, so I drove straight to Birmingham and realized that I would need to borrow my mom's clothes because I didn't stop by my place and pack anything.  All the way to Birmingham from Mobile, I prayed, teared up a little bit, reflected on my times with Dad, prayed, contacted my friends to pray for Dad and our family.  That was a scary moment for me because I wasn't ready to let go of Dad.  He was only 52 years old.  He has inherited high blood pressure and all the men on his mom's side died from heart disease.  

When I arrived at St. Vincent's Hospital, I met my mom and a church deacon outside the hospital.  When I walked with them to Dad's Surgery ICU room, Mom was giving me all the details about how it started.  When I walked into the room, I almost wanted to break down because I didn't like to see my own precious, strong dad being hooked up with IV and oxygen tubes.  Immediately, he smiled at me and signed, "Why did you have to drive all the way up here?  I don't need all of that attention!"  I quickly went to his hospital bed and give him a bear-y hug and a kiss on his forehead.  He knew how to make me feel better by making me laugh.  He was such a trooper!  Although he seemed swollen and groggy, he enjoyed cracking jokes and being "friendly" with everyone on the floor.  He introduced all the nurses to us and even bragged about his girls to others.  We think that morphine had that effect on him.  I was amazed at how Dad continued to sign well with me even though his hands were covered with IV tubes.  Also, his hands were shaking like usual because of his Parkinson's Disease.  I decided to give him foot massages, and then he asked me if I could give him some neck/back massage.  When I did that, he kept saying, "Yes...yes...Oh, I'm in heaven!"  LOL!  We had some great conversations sprinkled with laughers and a few tears.  

His current and former college students, church friends, colleagues, my sister's assistant band director (who wrapped Dad's favorite candy bar in "Hey Baby" music script - their "inside" joke), family members and Mom's co-workers/bosses came by and visited Dad during visiting hours in his ICU room.  I was amazed at how many people made the time to visit Dad and they told us how much Dad has made an impact on their lives.  Several of my childhood friends told me that they could never forget how wonderful Mr. Jay was.  Many people across the country have been praying for Dad.  I realize how blessed I have been to have Jay Mattox as my dad - what a privilege!  

Dad said that one of emotional moments for him was when a man who has attended his church for decades prayed aloud for the very first time in front of him!  Sweet times!  I asked him if he was scared.  He explained that he already had peace with God and felt that God wasn't done with his life here on the earth yet.  He believes that God still wants to use him.  I sighed and realized how much I'd love for him to walk down the aisle with me, marry me and my future husband, see my sister graduate from high school and college, and meet his grandchildren.

Yesterday, we were waiting on a team of cardiologists to come and give us a report on Dad's health.  After waiting for 8 hours, I was running out of patience.  Both Mom and Dad tried to ask nurses a few times when they could meet with cardiologists.  Finally, I got up and walked back and forth in a hallway until I confronted a nurse by myself.  I demanded that she will call the doctor immediately because Dad's fever was 100 and breathing was harder on him.  She quietly nodded and picked up the phone in front of me.  I mouthed, "Thank you."  A few minutes, the doctor showed up.

The cardiologist explained to us that the blockage turned out to be a clot that can be dissolved by Plavix and other medicines.  Medicines for heart repair, too!  He also explained that open heart surgery was not needed because medicines were progressing well.  Dad will need to do cardio rehab after his recovery.  Praise the Lord!  

We all thanked God for miracles and that Dad didn't need to undergo open heart surgery.  We continued to pray that medicines will continue to do the work!  When the cardiologist left, Dad prayed with us (Mom, my sis and I) and a nurse. 

Right now, Dad is moving out of his ICU room and into a private room.  He should be home by Monday.  :)  

"dressing up" season is over!

I realize I've not updated my blogspot in *ahems* a while!!

Within the last month, I felt I've put on a lot of make up and worn dresses almost everyday - for my childhood best friend's wedding, her showers, and Mardi Gras balls with my Mobile area friends. Sometimes, I just wanted to put on my swimsuit and head to the beach with no make up on.  However, I did have fun getting all fixed up and dressing up - I meant once in a while.  :) 

the world is trying to "de-compete"

Last night, I went to a homecoming basketball game at a nearby small Christian school with my friends.  When the homecoming court was presented to us, I expected to see someone crown a new homecoming queen.  However, all of the nominees stood up and walked away without announcing the queen.  I was puzzled and asked my friends who were puzzled, too.  We learned that the school committee, parents and students decided not to choose one queen and one king this year.  They preferred not to compete for it.  They just wanted to display all the nominees - that's all.  Interesting.
This morning, I went to watch an Upward basketball game where 1st and 2nd graders played.  I enjoyed watching them play.  When they made shoots, the scoreboard didn't display any number.  Just 0 to 0 throughout the games.  I was puzzled again, and asked my friend who sat next to me.  She explained that parents were upset about scores last year.  This year, they decided not to be in a competition.  They preferred to let kids play for fun.  Interesting again!
I guess the world is trying to "de-compete."  I think we focused too much on "competition."  

losing is finding...

I couldn't get rid of my instinct to throw away all the junk that I don't need anymore at my place.  When I moved into a warehouse/apartment, my friends called me a rat pack after helping me load/unload and move in.  So I did stay up until 2 AM every day since last Monday to clean all the old stuff out of my drawers.  I realized that I would be busier this month and next month because of my best childhood friend's wedding season and Mardi Gras events!  So I was determined to dig deeper into my drawers to throw all the unnecessary stuff and keep a VERY FEW things that I wanted to keep, so I could enjoy the next two months without being under pressure to "un-clutter" my place.  At that moment, I happened to find an old sheet from one of my numerous LEAD (Presidential Scholar) meetings during my college years, and I thought reading/mediating on it was an excellent way to start 2009, or 200-MINE!  Read the followings-

"Paradoxes of Leading"

Which ones typify the lessons that you have learned about yourself this past year?

~The last shall be first

~You have to know how to follow to lead

~Serving is leading

~Losing is finding

~Power is made full and complete in weakness (I can boast in my weaknesses)

~Joy in Sorrow

~Meek inherit the earth

~Turn the other cheek

~Go 2 miles instead

~Love your enemy

~The good I want to do, I don't (and vice versa)

"Talking and Walking"

If you can talk, you can sing,

If you can walk, you can dance. 

-African Proverb

Is this proverb an invitation or an admonishment for you?

"How do you walk?"

If one is supposed to walk with ones eyes open, head up, intentionally, without looking down, how would characterize the way you have walked this past year?  (Dragging your feet?  Face down?  Looking over your shoulders?  Straining to see ahead?  Slowly?  Rapidly?  Awkwardly?  Meandering?  With a purpose?  Etc...)

dark caves in my heart

I was awestruck by a passage that I read recently...

"During WWII, Allied troops had established a beachhead on one of the South Pacific islands, thus claiming 'authority' over the island.  But now that the troops had landed, the island needed to be made safe.  There were numerous caves on the island, and many enemy soldiers were still hiding there in the darkness.  So the Allied troops had their work cut out for them.  One cave at a time, they would shine their lights into the interior, exposing anyone hiding within.  Once that cave was safely cleared, they would then move on to the next.  One by one, each cave was examined until, after much time, the entire island was declared under their control.

"You're probably already guessing the analogy.  When we accept Christ as our Savior, he establishes his 'beachhead' in us.  He lays claim to us.  We become his.  But we still have a whole 'island' full of dark caves that are hiding our sins, our deceits, our weaknesses.  Proverbs 20:27 tells us, 'The LORD's light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive.' (NLT)  God doesn't tackle all the caves at once.  Instead, just like the soldiers in the South Pacific, he shines his light into one cave at a time."  - Dee Bright, The Divine Romance

I have to admit that I have been "blinded" by my dark caves in my heart; however, God has used bad circumstances to show me His ENDLESS GRACE!  I'm still overwhelmed by how God has shown a lot of care and love toward us.  I praise God for all of his "transforming" works in my heart.  

last Saturday's Christmas Parade!

december craziness!

Since the last day of Thanksgiving break, I was back to my normal routines in the world of reality after a few days of relaxing in my hometown - more event planning at my work, fun with my friends (watch movies and play games), baking/cooking A LOT for Christmas events at church, back to running in the perfect warm weather (please no more coldness!), shopping with my co-workers at Toys R Us for our students, meeting Signing Santa, etc.

Last Saturday, we had a gigantic annual Christmas parade right next to my place.  The Deaf Ministry at my church and I spent two days working on a float - our theme for it was Snowy ILY. We made our snowman made out of beanbags along with ILY (I Love You) hands made out of white mittens stuffed with tissue paper.  We put over 1,000 white Christmas lights on that float, and it looked fabulous!  We had a lot of fun working hard, enjoying fellowship, and eating together.  

I decided not to be in that parade with the Deaf Ministry group because I wanted to see the entire parade that had about 85 floats!  I stood with my church friends  and got a lot of candies.  I just enjoyed watching floats - some of them were very creative and hilarious!  Several groups of little adorable girls danced around along with their batons.  Many farmers showed off their antique tractors.  Some guys advertised their karate class by showing their karate skills right on the float. Some of men from my church rode on their motorcycles and waved at us.  Also, senior citizens from the town's only one nursing home rode in a van that was decorated with Christmas lights and waved at us!  That's why I LOVE living in a small town!   :) 

cookies that can surprise you!

Yesterday, I decided to do something unusual!  I notice that several people did show random acts of kindness within the last few weeks, so I wanted to think of something to surprise someone.  

Every morning at 4 AM, my "second" father from R-dale commutes to downtown Mobile, about one mile away from my work.  As a hard-working man, he works like 12 hours everyday.  Although he is a picky eater, he loves chocolate-ly chocolate chips cookies that I make.  Yesterday after my work, I drove by his work and entered the parking lot and found his car!  I knew that he never locked his car door.  So I sneaked around, opened his driver door, and put a tin of his all-time favorite cookies on his car seat.  Then I left without informing him!  

This morning, I got a text message from my "second" mother.  She said that he was very very surprised to see cookies in his car.  He said that those cookies were the best!  Last night, he was very happy.  :)

be thankful always...

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.  His love endures forever.  Give thanks to the God of gods.  His love endures forever.  Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever, to him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever.  Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever." -Psalm 136:1-4 & 26

It is always nice to be "home" even though I want to live far away from my hometown.  The longer I stay away from Birmingham, the more I appreciate my hometown.  Last night, I drove to get onto Interstate 459 and realized how much I enjoyed growing up in Birmingham.  When I arrived, my sis, Beth, and I met for a coffee visit at the Summit right next to my parents' neighborhood. Then we had Chinese Ming's take-out dinner at my parents' house - just like old times!  My mom, sis and I started cooking and baking for the next day's Thanksgiving feast just like old times.  Not surprisingly, my sis and mom went crazy and danced around the kitchen for no reason.  No wonder why Dad stayed away from them.  This morning, my sis and I got up earlier to run on the lovely Lakeshore Parkway near my alma mater.  After our run, we came back home and turned on TV to watch annual Thanksgiving parade, ate homemade pumpkin bread, looked through store catalogs for Black Friday sales, and drank strong coffee just like old times.  I thank God for my sweet parents, my incredible sisters (Juju and Beth), a stable home in Birmingham, wonderful memories since I was born, my amazing friends who taught me a lot about what life was about, my "second" family in Robertsdale, FBCR church/friends, my work in Mobile, my precious preschool students (even though they get in trouble sometimes), my place where I can sleep in peace, difficult times that drew me closer to God, DTQ ministry/WaveSTAFF friends, my dependable Honda car that has been faithful to me (she'll be 10 years old next year!), my boss Jen and aides, God's endless grace and redeeming love, my life tests to challenge me to stand firm alongside with God, coffee to keep me awake every morning, friendly folks in Robertsdale, Bob & Kathy Ayres, Matt & Shannon Reynolds, countless great restaurants in Birmingham (you'll understand better after a couple of years living in Mobile), seven22 group in Pensacola, gorgeous beaches in Alabama, breath-taking mountains in Oregon, slow-paced lifestyle in Robertsdale, God's faithfulness...I just have to thank God every minute for everything.  Also, I thank God for bad circumstances that I really don't want to happen in my life - but God uses them to teach me more.  Isn't God good?  

"You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you.  Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."  -Psalm 118:28-29

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!  

silence

Last Saturday, I noticed the framed poem on a wall when I walked into my friend's grandmother's kitchen for her graduation party. 

Silence

She cannot hear my words.  

The music is lost on her ears.

She cannot hear her children cry.

She only see their tears.  

Though the second of life is absent.

Her inner world is vast.

Through the graceful language of hand

Her spell on you is cast.

We watch in fascination

As she speaks with gestures grand;

Her emotions displayed openly

By the swiftness of her hand.

Her gaze on your intense,

She works hard to read your voice.

If you cannot speak her language, 

You see, she simply has no choice.

The wisdom, the joy, the precious life

That's trapped in a silent shell, 

Is released to us through fingertips;

To listen might do us well. 

-Lisa Williams Coggin

random acts of kindness

Last Saturday, some stranger paid for my 5K run registration and t-shirt before I arrived at the registration booth.  I told him that I would be happy to pay back, and he shook the head and said, "No, enjoy your race."  

Yesterday, someone was more than willing to come over to check my car to see if my brake pads needed to be replaced.  He didn't accept money...he just wanted to help.  

I thank God for people with caring hearts!  

my parents' marriage

Happy 29th Anniversary, Dad & Mom!  

Dad first noticed the lovely face of Mom in some college newspaper at their college in Springfield, Missouri...even though Mom thought that picture of her was horrible.  Dad was interested in that beautiful lady and then asked one of mutual friends to see if he could meet her.  Finally, they did meet each other; however, Mom was not interested in him at first.  She agreed to go on a double date with him because she had crush on another guy who also went with them.  

They ended up falling in love with each other after a few dates.  Mom knew that he was the one.  Three or four months later, they agreed to have a small November wedding.  After seven months of being together, they got married and celebrated Thanksgiving with both families during that week.  

29 years later, they have been blessed with two daughters and a wonderful life together despite illnesses, financial problems, new changes, etc.  I've never seen them argue...not a little bit!  The foundation of their marriage is Jesus Christ, which continues to amaze me.  They know how to "disagree" with each other, love each other through all circumstances, embrace their opposite personalities (which amazes me, too!), minister together to others, etc.  

I praise God for their beautiful marriage that glorifies Him.

in the midst of November busy-ness

The last two weeks have been EXTREMELY busy!

weekend trip to Atlanta, 10K race in downtown Atlanta, tons of delicious food made by Beth’s mom, a quick visit with my precious family at the Cheesecake Factory in B’ham, movie night with church friends, sharing my testimony with college students, work, work, work, cooking theme for my classroom (made peanut butter/jelly sandwiches, fruit salad, mini pizzas, muffins, and sweet potato casserole with my students), went to Pensacola twice for seven22 and my friends’ lovely wedding, deep cleaning, cooking, massive loads of laundry, Thanksgiving potluck at my house (amazingly, 30 people can fit in my house!), taught ASL class Tuesday and Thursday nights, taught Philippians for the Deaf Bible Study, grocery shopping field trip with my students, ran 3 miles almost every afternoon, birthday parties for my student and boss, went to Early Intervention/Preschool conference, ran into my former college professor, four fun family nights and revival services at my church (about 70 youth got saved Wednesday night!), late night chats/dinner with friends, Thanksgiving feast at my school…

I guess you see why I couldn’t find a time to update my blogspot. : ( I know that blogspot is like the very last thing to do on my list. However, I do need to sit down and RELAX unlike Northerners (that’s what Beth preached about!). Also, my car needs to relax, too…I notice it needs an oil change badly!

Last summer, I made a lot of mistakes and learned my lesson the hard way. I thanked God for letting me learn from them and teaching me how to “plan” my weaknesses and rely on His strength. When I became extremely busy, I tended to be weak, tired, unguarded, moody, etc. However, God tested me again a few weeks ago…Satan knew my weaknesses; so I quickly became alert when an “old” temptation was back on its way. I chose to stay in God’s presence every moment and be into His Word daily instead of ignoring temptation without knowing the painful consequences of giving in to it. He said to me, “Keep alert. Be firm in your faith. Stay brave and strong. Show love in everything you do.” (1 cor. 16:13-14). I recently asked my parents, my “second” parents, and best friend to pray for me as I fought to be the best for God. I pray that God continues to mold, sharpen, and change me into a stronger, better woman for Him. I know I continue to learn more and more throughout my lifetime.

Let me tell you one more thing…I’ve been overwhelmingly and amazingly blessed with a “second” family here in my town. I first met my “second” parents, sis and bro at church two years ago when I was in the midst of decision-making process about moving to Mobile for my first career. At first, I had a fear of being alone and having no support in an unfamiliar area far away from my hometown where my family lives. However, God has continued to use this “second” family in my life. My “second” mother was more than willing to stay up late some nights to chat with me and give me some wise advice. My “second” father was being protective of me around guys and kept his eye on me. He told me that I should not get married until I am 50 years old. Haha! My “second” older sister was very encouraging to me during hard times and spent a lot of time with me recently – she said that she would stand up for me. There is nothing important about my “second” brothers – they just constantly pick on me.

Happy Election Day!

An hour ago, Dad texted, "Follow your heart as it seeks God and His holiness." I love Dad for his wisdom and encouragement.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Phil. 4:6

I voted today! :)

Happy 1st Day of November!

I love November. I love Thanksgiving which is my favorite holiday because it is less stressful than Christmas and more about spending quality time with my family. I love the typical November weather here in Alabama. I love November football games especially the Iron Bowl game! I love getting up earlier in the morning on "Black Friday" and shopping crazily with Dad or Mom. I love celebrating my parents' anniversary on November 23rd. I love seeing colorful leaves in Birmingham - none here in Mobile, sadly!

I am looking forward to this month! I already celebrated the first day of this November by running in my first 10K race with Jeanne and her husband Nate here in Mobile. I ran 6.2 miles in 73 minutes! Next weekend, I am going to Atlanta to run in another 10K race with Beth. Whoo!! I hope that my body will not be that sore.

This afternoon, we had the BEST fun-filled DTQ outreach event.  I was amazed at how God sent those teens to this event and how we went with the flow instead of focusing too much on schedule.  We played a camera scavenger hunt, looked for lost candies in boxes full of flour without using our hands, ate our favorite doughnuts, played "Hear me out" game, discussed about losing things/people, and shared about the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:4-7).  I praise God for those teens' willingness to participate and share their thoughts/feelings with us during our discussion time.  I pray that those teens will continue to know how much God adores them and wants to have intimate relationship with them. See the picture below....some of our teens decided to play with my Mac's photo booth after the discussion time.  

Last weekend, I mailed two hilarious Hallmark's cards to my sweet friends....they LOVED their cards! 
CARD #1: On the front, it said, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Inside said, "But when life hands you a load of crap, don't make anything. Trust me on this one." (snickering!)

CARD #2: The front said, "Thanks from the bottom of my butt." Inside said, "It's a lot bigger than my heart!" (yup...yup!)